Ekam Eveileb.

So... It's the BEHTHDAY!

2012-02-15T14:26:00.005+08:00

Hahahaha according to mei yi xD
Yup! finally legal!
Yeah~~ let's go clubbing!
I mean shopping lar xD
can't drink at all haha

Thanks for all the wishes!
Really thankful and grateful for having such wonderful friends!
This is likely to be my last birthday celebrated here...
Next year might not be...

OH wells,
today is a happy day~ so happy thoughts! :D

Ah and chinz, will miss you alot alot...
Still remember last year today we hanged out a whole day together with the choco ball!
I missed hangouts with RS lar!

Maybe one day, we'll meet again, all 26 of us in a same room again...
Till then :')

Bits of the tonnes of pics I collected for the blog! :D
PSSS many from your tumblr daph xD

(ever since sth went wrong with my browser that i cant edit my font colours... i somehow blog much lesser...)

Constant dreamer.

2012-01-28T21:06:00.003+08:00

Been always dreaming,
of being at somewhere else when I'm here;
or doing something else I'm doing now for a change;
or being someone else, living a different life...
Always dreaming,
always hoping.
Then when I finally woke up from these dreams,
I just realize my life is a hopeless mess.

I suck at maintaining relationships,
any kind;
just hate studying and the competition;
no target, no aim, no purpose;
nothing to wake up for.

What exactly was I searching for?
What do I want to do?

People get fed up with me,
I get bored of myself.
Tired of living up to other people's expectation.

The past year has been so empty,
that every day is hard to pass.
Everyone's moving on perfectly fine.
Even those who didn't want to, in the beginning.

I feel so trapped.

Am I overthinking?
Or not.

A dream is a dream.
One day, anyhow, you'll have to wake up and face reality.

Oh man ):

2012-01-27T19:25:00.005+08:00

CNY will be over soon.
Why does good times passes so fast?
But, wait, I don't actually mean this cny is a very good time.
It's more of boring.
And doing stuff we don't really want, and enjoy much.
I'd rather have a week at home, alone in my room most times.
Which is, practically impossible.

So, haven't been productive at all.
Just eat, go out to some relatives house, come back at midnight and fall back to bed.
Other times, which are extremely lucky, when we don't have to go out,
will be on the computer.
So studying?
Haven even got a chance.

AS results was satisfying but not thrilling.
getting an 80s percentile meant more work this sem to get an A* in A2.
Already feel tired at the thought.

Why didn't I think of using that past dec hols for good? :/

Starting on tomorrow,
no more slacking time.

Time to really focus.

Let's talk about the weather

2012-01-22T15:19:00.002+08:00

one day heat blast, one day big chill.
This weather is killing.
Can totally sense 2012 coming,
but CHOI!
It's Chinese New Year!
Ah, holidays again~
So this CNY will be like the usual,
Visit, eat, TV, angpaus, on the internet, and of course, lots of sleep!
CNY to me is more like a getaway.
Stay home and chill.
No one would bother you in this time too as everyone went back hometown.
Sometimes you need a bit of alone time.

Results for AS out tomorrow, or shall I say tonight midnight?
A little nervous.

How are you guys spending your CNY?
Don't forget to update your blogs!
I'm reading all the time kay ;D

TTFN and Happy CNY! Gong xi fa chai xD
PS: help me vote this. It's, er, mine yeah xD.
CLICK HERE

It's been long!

2012-01-16T16:18:00.002+08:00

Maybe not very long, but considered long for me...
Remember last time I used to blog everyday...

So many happenings!
Including a trip to kl to attend the educational fair at klcc.
Went there by ktm + lrt. It was... memorable.
I shall never take the public transport in msia ever again unless I had to to survive.
Yeah only that kinda situation haha.
And college started!
Sad sad.
And... I'm totally addicted to tetris battle! So send me some energy xD

Never knew one day I'll say this but,
Ben 10 is a awesome series. Haha yeah yeah I still watch cartoons.

College life just can't get any worse.

Thinking about A2 makes me feel like crying.

Haven't talk to RS-ers lately...
An outing perhaps?

CNY's coming soon. Hope I'll remember to use the holiday wisely this time round.

HEHEHEHE

2012-01-03T15:56:00.002+08:00

Yeah...
I'm kinda undecided and fickle minded...
So..
Decided to go HKU after all! :D
(but no shopping and holidays, cause imma be broke from now on....)

Oh wells.

Biatch

2012-01-02T14:56:00.003+08:00

My chat box just gone case ==
Why everything on earth needs money?!?!

Not going HKU after all.
But not gonna regret my decision.
To me, studying in either HKU or NUS makes not much a difference.
So why burden parents to let me go hk?
终于松了一口气 :D

Toodles!

Happy 2012!

2011-12-31T21:43:00.002+08:00

Gonna be a new year in just 2 hours!
This is going to be a good year ;D
I just know it :P

Happy new year to all of you!
Wishing you dreams come true :)
Friends forever! Eh, I still like collecting nice pics :)(random)

Eh, decided to turn down the HKU offer.
Too pricey.
NUS can get free, so why not?
I'm not too ambitious lar.
Don't ask for too much.

Hmm... guess, that's it!
smile! :D

Heavy

2011-12-27T22:37:00.004+08:00

My heart feels so heavy this few days.
Don't worry, not heart pain =,= (we shall not speak of that...)
It's just, feel so sad and idk... down.
And not pms, my aunty just went home last week ;D

So...
I've seriously thought of ending the blog as 2011 ends.
But I really don't wanna lose everything here...
This is like a precious diary.
And it kept the best two years of my life.
And I think this is one of the best treasures I own.
So, the idea of downloading the blog pop in my mind.
But after a sec, it seems impossible.
Until then someday I accidentally figure out that you CAN download your blog.
So, that really makes me want to put a full stop to this 3 year blog.
So I went and download.
It's in XML file.
Just 1.27mb??
Opened.
Ah.
No wonder.
It's all words and formats.
The posts are still there.
Just without the awesome layout and pictures.
:/ That's like half the blog gone wei.
A picture speaks a million words!

So yeah.
Blog you may go on till the day Blogger 'zap lap'(close down)
Or...
Nay, as long as you're here, I doubt I'll abandon you.
Too much to let go off.
:)

A talk from the heart (II)

2011-12-26T19:24:00.003+08:00

Well, (II) is because,
I've used this title for one of my very first posts on this very blog already,
ah.. old is gold,
but memories are better than gold ;D

Okay, so explanation on the title,
well, I've got many feedback lately saying that,
I've changed,
I'm so quiet now,
and to the point that, it's a bit like emo and how to say... anti-social maybe?
So, today I've thought about it for a bit, and yeah...
I do look/sound depressing.
So I decided to make a change and get the old me back! :D *uhhum, applause? xD
Okay, let me first explain how did this negative change take place.
Er... do you guys mind the lengthiness?
Well, I DON'T CARE :D haha, even if I care, I'm just to lazy to put in pics xD
So... the explanation.
I think la,
because of the environment I'm in now.
I'm unconsciously being suck back into the typical sc

hool environment.
The you know, many cliques kinda thing, and you stick with only people you know and the popular people kinda thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, over the year, I sorta get used to being silent for half a day, and get along being ignored and ignoring other people.
I didn't even realize it if it wasn't the RS people reminded me!
So thanks lar those peeps ;D

And erm, I think cause, all along I have this attitude of being very careful.
I'm very careful with what I say, so I think a lot befor

e I say something.
The years at ace, because of the carefree environment and all,
I slowly let go of that.
But this year it has come back to me like a wave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But now that I realized it, I shall slowly throw it away again! :D
Geez I feel super semangat now!

But let's start small lar~~
Start with people I'm more comfortable first.

Err... I'm very unorganized at blog writing...
I just type as I thought of something.
So yeah. forgive the jump here and there thing.
And the sucky english. long time no read. 500mph vouchers tak tau how to spend leh.
It would be great if those were cash. TT
But yeah I understand why tr Anne did that.
Cause if not we'll(or maybe just me xD) not spend a cent on books. *troll face

I forgot what is the main point of this post.
Or maybe all of this are? xD

Okay.
Not gonna work my brains any further.
It's hols yo!
Brains aren't supposed to work now!
So...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Feel free to leave me some comments/feedbacks, let me know what you think too,
if you feel this is too geli, too much, let me know, try not to do it again xD
And erm, if you'd like the me now or support of me changing back. Tell me.
Or at least just let me know you're still reading my blog.
Thank you peeps. Love ya!

Merry xmas!

2011-12-25T16:25:00.002+08:00

Ah time pass so fast!
It's Christmas again!
But dunno whether it's the society,
or is it us who've grown up,
xmas spirit is slowly fading away...

Many happenings during hols!
Many weddings this month,
tis the season to make babies ::
and er... so many things, that I forgot xD
But so lazy to update and upload
So... I guess no update and uploads then xD

Once again,

Merry Christmas everyone!

fail ah fail larr

2011-12-13T13:03:00.002+08:00

I always fail to carry out plans larrr ;O
On the last day of school,
I told myself that I was not to waste this holiday,
and I was gonna do:
- work on mturk
- revise homework esp further maths and chem
- read, a lot, finish the pile of books I bought last year
- learn cooking?
- let me think....

And yeah.
Did nothing
and I dunno what I'd been doing also.
I know holidays are not over yet,
but time is like passing super fast during hols!
Esp during festives!
this xmas is so dull lar... :/
no shopping, no xmas tree, no xmas songs, no xmas movies, no cookies....

And wah, imma lose my 饭碗 leh...
more and more people fighting for the translation HIT...
thousands over HITs come to 0 in just 2, 3 weeks. OO
and yesterday when I tried doing some, there was still like about 250 left,
and just now? 40 left.
and within less than half an hour, poof, 0.
:O need to find something to do again lar...

Do blue roses grow naturally?

Breaking dawn~

2011-12-05T21:49:00.001+08:00

So... Finally watch breaking dawn!
Have to say lar, even though before watching,
already heard many critics but, I was kinda anticipating towards it lor....
Cause read the book a year ago,
And twilight and breaking dawn are my favorite books of the series.
But... The movie is disappointment lar.... ==
Highly not recommended to watch in cinemas, cause so many scenes cut.
Nothing to see lor~ ==
But isle esme is really beautiful and romantic~~
That's all. Edward is terrible. Bella look dead. And Jacob, I never liked him. So yeah.

So yeah I know you want to see the hair ONLY, not me xD
A pic I took IN THE CAR as ALWAYS haha, sorry lar house bad lighting...

Not so obvious the colour.... Haih
But overall satisfied lar.

Ttfn.

My back is stiff like rock dy....

2011-11-26T16:31:00.003+08:00

good news: I got a perm today! :D
bad news: so tiring and boring sitting down for 4 hours ==

It's a japanese perm.
half the head only,
means, the curls starts at about the ear there,
I quite like it,
but I was expecting it to be curlier lol

No pictures YET,
cause I've arranged for a coloring session this Weds,

(any recommendation of what colour tone to get?)
so pictures then ;)

now it looks a little stiff and dry,
the hairstylist said it's because of dark hair and it's my first time perming my hair.

Urgh, and it's so boring because, my cousin is occupying my phone,
and I finish one magazine in like 5 minutes?
and my hairstylist is a rock,
he doesn't speak and have not much of expression lol

AND EXAM IS OVER!!!!!
words are nowhere near enough to express my joy and relief now xD
so, till next time I blog ;D

Don't laugh okay....

2011-11-19T23:31:00.003+08:00

Seriously, hairdressers are next to magicians ;)
this morning when I wake up I was looking like crap.
(well actually I've been looking like crap for months)
Then decided to go for a haircut this morning, finally.
(cause I finally found my hairdresser, he suddenly quit from the previous salon and my hair is then left to grow like grass ==)

The before:
HAHA, my dad. Taken about two weeks ago. On my mom's bday and we went wongkok and they gave us this big milk tea for free ;P

And after the magic hands laid on my hair, ;)
I feel like a girl again lol

Yeah... I need more confidence lol....

SAT on a SATurday....

2011-11-05T16:22:00.003+08:00

lol so tired I almost couldn't wake up this morning!
So worried last night, because I haven't done a single practice paper at all!
And this morning I just simple go in take the test and done.

When I reached the exam center, which is Metropolitan Subang Jaya,
I was more than surprised to see so many candidates...
Was expecting 50 at most? haha
And everyone else was so nervous and serious bout this thing!
I was like shit... Treating this like a piano theory exam only....

So DOOMED lor~
English questions hard like siao~
Maths was easy but the time limit makes me super ganjiong. haha
I think the English part, more than half I close one eye and do lol...
Oh and one really weird thing about SAT is...
Have you ever gotten negative marks in exam?
Well, in this exam you can actually get negative marks LOL.
Cause for one correct answer, scores one mark.
One blank, scores zero.
One wrong answer, minus 0.25 marks.
WOW. Some questions I dare not circle cause I have no idea at all lol...

But it's OVER!
So I shall return to focusing on my A levels....

Sien leh~ ==

Holla!

2011-11-01T09:13:00.007+08:00

So it's November!
I know I've said this dozen of times,
but I still gotta repeat;
2011 passes so damn fast!
Scary nia...
Seems to me time doesn't have a fixed scale

Okay so so far, I'm done with 2 papers.
But also the 2 hardest paper to me.
Chem P3(lab) and Maths P6(stats).

Stats was a little hard, chem was very different, but it's over so wh

o cares 8D

Next up is Phy P3(lab).
And about 10 days after that is Chem and Phy P2(subjective)
Haven practice on P2 yet!! D8
No classes for over a month...
Feel so relax wei....

So lately my life revolves around:
- Doing papers...

Ah my exam statement last year

and the name tag I stole home from the exam hall on the last day xD!

- Facebooking...

Random pic I saw on fb... He/She is sooo cute! I can't take my eyes off this pic haha xD

- Working on Mturk...

Selling this for rm 110 lol. didn't consider that I'll never wear such a dress....

- HKU application. That was a real headache wei...

So hope after all this hard work I can get in and hopefully with scholarship! :D

Okay enough of time wasting haha
back to work ;)

Just 2 weeks left.

2011-10-08T19:50:00.001+08:00

I can't believe time past so fast.
I'm not ready for AS yet!

I still love blogger a lot...
Though not many people use it anymore :)
90's songs are the best.

R.I.P Steve Jobs

Pleasant.

2011-10-02T21:17:00.003+08:00

It's been a pleasant weekend.
Relaxing and fun.
But now I feel bad.
I've been too nice to myself this weekend.
Haven't done much work.
So next week,
(seriously) time to work.

So today was Sud's early bday surprise,
(the surprise part kinda fail though xD)
But it was fun.
RS we gotta meet more often before we leave to different countries lar!

Any nice songs to recommend?
Prefer soothing type, like plain white t's.
Thank you.

Watched ponyo last night before sleep.
Very nice animation.
Quite different from the others this one.
Very... cute.
Can't understand the plot completely,
(mainly because I was watching eng dub, I prefer watching jap audio with eng sub,
or canto dub with mandarin sub)

I wanna play the piano!
Maybe till I've mastered stats first xD
Procrastinator. :P

Okay so here's the secret...

2011-09-30T17:59:00.008+08:00

*drumsroll

About a month ago, I just found this website accidentally,
And who knows?
I found treasure haha.

It's a website called Amazon Mechanical Turk

How it works:
Some people called "requester" they put up some tasks and you just find them and complete them and wait for them to approve and pay.

These tasks called HITS - Human Intelligence Tasks
Basically they're some tasks that can't be done by computers,
so these people are paying money for our brains.

How to start:
1)
2)
Very easy, sign in with your amazon account, or make one new one if you don't have.
(Yeah this is linked to amazon.com)
Then they'll guide you through lar
Very simple only.
Then after making an amazon payment account and verified your email address,
you may start earning~

Note:
1) only after 10 days of working, you can transfer your account balance into amazon gift cards which will be automatically added to your amazon gift card balance
2) you can't cash out, unless you're US residents
3) don't bother working on HITs that pay a few cents, search for those that pay AT LEAST 50 cents.
4) don't simply do HITS, if you got rejected, it'll affect your HIT approval rate, and it's gonna be hard for you to find good pay HITs again oh..

I took a month to get about 180 bucks.
Was lucky lar found quite some HITs that pay more than 1 buck.
But slowly earn, 3 bucks a day,
one month also got 90 bucks adi wor~ USD leh~

That's about it lar.
Very easy only~
Now no need to ask parents for money to buy clothes lor~
And even better, don't have to step out of your house,
you can earn and shop.

Have fun~ ;)

First online shopping attempt...

2011-09-27T16:21:00.007+08:00

Declared success! 8D

So this is my first time shopping online...
On amazon.com
Overall, very good shopping experience and amazon's service is really excellent.
A pic of all my "prizes" xD

Lazy to take individual photos lar,
folded nicely adi...
So just take the pic of the web lar haha lazy people~

A romper, only bought large cause it's the only size on sale lol... not because I'm fat k... TT

Cute colour dress

only bought it cause it's cheap haha

party dress~ though I have no idea why I need it lol...

cute summer dress.. gift it to cousin :)

for cousin also~

lastly for brother~

All together including shipping fees is US$ 160
The shipping is really fast and safe, ordered on last friday night,
and got it this morning,
so it only took about 2.5 working days?
And everything is nicely packaged,
not opened or touched.

Okay and this is the best part of all,
ALL THESE ARE FOR FREE.
Yes, well or at least free meaning I don't use my parent's money and I don't have to dig money out of my piggy bank too.

Want to know the secret?
Stay tuned~ xD

Confidence is beauty

2011-09-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

For the first time in my life,
I'm extremely happy, excited and grateful to get a B!
Haha, actually when I got the result today, I'm happier than that time getting the IGCSE results xD

So what's that subject that I got a B for that makes me so happy?
Yup, its CHEM :D
The reason that made me so happy was that all the effort payed off.
And that I managed to get from E to B in 3 months.
So so so happy right now :D

FINISHED READING BOOK OF TOMORROW!
Very nice.
But quite different eh this one.
The ending was totally unexpected.
Great turn.
It feels a bit like "A place called here"
Because romance wasn't the main plot,
and it's a lot of self-discovery and flashbacks and magic 8D
Very nice still.
Cecelia Ahern's books always nice one lar ;D

Best day ever x) (in the recent weeks/months lar xD)

4 days off in a row..

2011-09-17T12:33:00.003+08:00

Makes me feel extremely lazy right now xD
Dunno how am I gonna get myself up to go college on Monday....

Watched a very very old movie yesterday night.
"向左走，向右走"
It's based on a Chinese graphical novel.
Very touching and sweet.
Tee

Been thinking about last two years before sleep last night.
Really grateful for teaching for giving us this school,
and giving me the best 2 years of my life.
Ah, actually I don't feel so sad about graduating and moving on already.
Because we have to right? Regardless of how unwilling we are to let go.
At least we've had it. :)

Hmm. Finally have a bit time to read.
Dunno if it's still like that next week. :x

I think if I have my own money to shop,
I'll be so broke....
Two options:
1) work bloody hard,
2) marry a filthy rich husband.
HAHA

Ah, so bored neh.....

I should...

2011-09-10T23:23:00.003+08:00

Go out more often. Meet more people. Keep in touch with old friends.
Talk more. Laugh more. Smile more.
Study more. Do more work.
Do more exercise. Walk more.

Be on the computer less. Use phone less. Listening on headphones less.
Game less. Dream less.
Laze around less. Say no less. Be less negative.
Sit-and-do-nothing less. Watch less tv.

Today was fun. Well, better than what I expected.
Though there was lots of silences. Or that I felt in my head.
But it was nice to see them again.
Hope to have these kinda meet ups more often.

Or and I should get more sleep too.
Like proper sleep and not naps in the afternoon-evenings lol.

Be grateful. I am. Or so I thought.

I dunno what to title this post lol....

2011-09-06T21:58:00.003+08:00

Physics lab mock was easy.
Luckily.
And a little fun too haha
Cause , first : all apparatus prepared nicely on the table,
I don't have to run around taking them.
And second: peace and quiet.
Lastly, don't have to fight over good equipment and space lol....

But I'm still really scared for chem lab.
Never completed it in time before...
Hope this mock won't be too hard.

And maths on friday!But I still can't do stats!

Listening to music while doing homework.
Ended up just staring at the paper and nodding to the songs~

爱上一个人，一定要让她相信，这世界多么美好。。。

怎办啊?!

2011-09-04T21:38:00.002+08:00

明天就是trials啦，
可我竟然还在youtube??
现在才来瞎紧张。。。
明天还是第一次考lab咧。。。
不懂做的万没有咯。。。
不能里那么多了啦！
就这样去考咯！

This year is the worst year of my life ba...
Nothing is getting better,
nothing is improving.
Only getting worse.
I've became lazy,
lost the determination to study,
to practice piano,
read.
Haven been reading for ages!
TT
I want my life back...

Took a long long break.
And it's time to start working again!
*Note to self: go buy statistics 1 book, go clarify maths and chem papers' questions.

What if I believe?

2011-08-29T22:20:00.002+08:00

Flower gleam and glow
Let your powers shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine.

Heal what has been hurt
Change the fate's design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine,
What once was mine...

Beautiful movie.
Beautiful songs.

These are the distractions I was talking about MeiYi....==

I'm tired...

2011-08-13T21:55:00.003+08:00

Let me sleep alright?
And I don't feel like waking up anytime soon...

I know running away won't solve anything;
but for now, it's the best solution....

Trust.

2011-08-08T13:53:00.002+08:00

Living in this era,
many things have changed our minds and how we view things.
we've become very aware,
in fact too aware.
We constantly doubt things, people.
We always keep in mind that some people out there are out to get us, and so we must always be on guard.
What have we become? ):
What's happening in our world?

I'm not sure to do what I believe,
or to listen to 'the wise people's' advice. e.g. : parents.
I'm not afraid of failing after trying out my idea.
I'm just afraid to hear that 4 words.
I TOLD YOU SO.

Let me take the chance okay?
At least if I fail, I've tested the idea out.
I know whats the result.
Much better than keep imagining if it'll work or not...

It's summer~

2011-08-06T23:30:00.003+08:00

Well, actually, it's summer everyday here in Malaysia.

So recently...
I've discovered my obsession for floral accessories ~ :D

Been watching bubzbeauty's youtube channel for hairdo tutorials, tried it on myself, but none works lol...I so regret for not buying them when I was in HK months ago...
Will be hard to find here in Msia lor...
Even got also at Diva,
which is super expensive....TT

Oh! And I realize, even since I was back from HK,
I poisoned with this obsession to shop!
Omg... I rather spend my whole week of allowance buying stuff and eat bread for the rest of the week lol.
HK is a scary place. Haha

Meiyi come on lar,
one day lets go shopping and wear dresses together! :D

No, not okay.

2011-08-05T22:18:00.003+08:00

No wonder I'll never succeed in anything...
Haih.

So it's been awhile since I posted.
Been studying hard. Trials coming up.
Don't wanna screw this one up.

Chem is going uhm, just ok now... I hope.
Almost done with the notes.
Now the one I worry most is further maths.

This week outing failed.
Geez I feel terrible for calling off last minute.
Haven had a RS gathering for so long. :/
Really really miss old times.

Oh. Attended the NUS talk today.
Pretty informative.
Really hope I can get in.
And even better, with a scholarship I hope xD

Ciaos.

I want liposuction!

2011-07-23T21:45:00.005+08:00

T___________T
hate this emoticon, but at the moment, it best describes my feelings and how I looked.
Any tips to loose some baba without sweat? hehe.
I shall blame it on chemistry.
Stress makes me fat.
Cause I now have constant craving for sweets. ==And instead of giving me sugar-high, I get sleepy then.And I'll take a nap,
and poof. Time wasted and put on another pound.
Urgh.

Old series but still my favorite. ;)
My dream is to be a paranormal investigator.
Well. If only it's as cool as in the show. haha

Oldies.

2011-07-12T21:18:00.004+08:00

Yes. Oldies are still the best.
Even old movies and dramas too.
Movies nowadays, many have no meaning and wouldn't leave a memorable impression in your minds.
Ah. Even HK dramas.
The new ones, after watching not even a month later, I couldn't even remember the story anymore.
But the old ones, 10 years past, watching it again still makes me cry.
What is wrong with the world? ):

Here one very nice old song I suddenly came across...
Dunno if any of you watched that drama before....

Back to collecting pics again! :D

meiyi :)

Mind over matter?

2011-07-09T17:03:00.007+08:00

又一次，让自己的任性害了自己。。。

Organic chemistry is hard.
But not impossible to understand.
Spending one whole afternoon, finally figure out 70% of what's required in the syllabus for the first chapter of organic chem.
Not too bad right?
Slapping myself for not trying at all last sem....I shall treat myself to chocolates and ice-creams next week :Dlike braiding my hair lately:)
too bad its not long enough...

Life couldn't get any worse...

2011-07-05T18:46:00.008+08:00

This is so horrible.
So embarrassing that I now desperately need a plastic surgery to be able to go out and show face again... ==
Don't bother asking please and thank you.

I need coffee now. lol.
forgot since when I got addicted with coffee while before this year I don't drink coffee at all... It's all college's fault. ==
I wants ice-cream. baskin and tutti fruity. 8D
I am now very semangat to do maths. lol.
I should spend less time online...
This is a new sem, shouldn't start this way.
But let's not let any more distraction carry me away.
Determined to be a nerd for a sem. 8)

ok fine. 我现在就是不爽到爆，怎样？==
鬼管你考到有多好啊？也不想想，几岁了？fail了一年再考还窜屁啊？！
粗俗谈吐请勿见怪。==

I COOK!

2011-06-30T21:03:00.005+08:00

*holy light shines*
(not a word about this chinli.)

HAHA super proud of myself wei!
Ok. I sorta lied.
Not exactly cooking.
Just made some cawanmushi...
But it's really wow for me adi k....
(Cause other than this I only know how to cook maggi mee...)Haha no process pics cause too gelaba x)
Suddenly found interest in cooking!
Any easy recipes people?? :D

Adios ;)

jealousy.is.so.hard.to.suppress...

2011-06-30T21:00:00.002+08:00

is it normal to have jealousy??
Or rather, is it ok?
It feels so bad neh...

I need plastic surgery!
(lol kiding, no way man.. never....)

Haih. I wanna be pretty too neh ...:/

ILY further maths, so can you at least don't hate me so much?

2011-06-28T15:42:00.003+08:00

This is insane lar!
So first time in this two weeks holidays,
I feel guilty of lazing around the house for so many days doing nothing,
I decided to do maths, I means further maths! *holy light shines*
Yeah. Miracle wei.
But then...
When I started doing...
Straight away killed all that motivation.
So difficult...
One question took half an hour.
What's worse?
After I'm done with 3 pure maths and 1 mechanics question (yup, it's that sad... Can only do 4 questions in one set of past years)
Couldn't even get one question full marks.
And 2 of them, half of the question was completely wrong.
How lar? D:

Results out. of 4 main subjects,
Got a C and... an E.
First time getting an E wei.
(it's chem lol)
:/

Next sem har, really no more bergantungs and no more fun.
Gotta study real hard. :(

What now?

2011-06-24T21:36:00.004+08:00

Holidays now, but noh meiyi, no pics of hk still.. xDWas actually thinking of getting them from other people on facebook,(cause I didn't take much pics lol)
but apparently no one uploaded lol...
So yeah :D

Holidays now but I have nothing to do lar D:
Sudden crave for coffee... Oo
I don't usually drink coffee lol
Starbucks! ::
Gotta study but have no idea how to start and where to start...
Consultation, but yeah... lecturer ffk twice.. ==
lousy lar.

Anyone recommend any nice piano songs to play?
not too hard please, very lazy xD

For all the ghibli lovers!

2011-06-22T14:56:00.000+08:00

like me x)

Fickle.

2011-06-21T13:31:00.010+08:00

I change so fast that even I'm scared of myself lol.

Hate hate hate writing reports.
Esp those journal-like ones.
Recording what happened kinda thing.
It's very hard to make it sounds interesting yet not too draggy lor.
In other words,
I just hate explaining things.

Stupid HK report idk how to write lar... Dx
***********************************************************
*mood swings*
I'm in a rather good mood now lol..
(cause I just put away the report and pretend I don't have to hand in before Thursday lar......)
Have always find commercials interesting and fun to watch (:

the song is addictive neh..

Finally can chill now...

2011-06-16T22:00:00.003+08:00

Last paper tomorrow. Thinking skills.
So it doesn't count.
Today was Physics.
Best paper of all the worst haha.
From my previous post...
First night at HKU was harsh huh...But strangely,
on the last day,
ehhh... I was kinda sad to leave dei...
Humans tsk tsk....

Anyways,
It was really a memorable and worth while trip.
Learnt lots of things.
Not only academically but also change some of my perspective in life...
Hmm...
We'll stop here.
Sometimes, you just don't have to say a lot... (:Urgh ugly me... but pretty background eh xD

Greetings from HK!

2011-06-08T01:51:00.003+08:00

Ok maybe if I'd blogged this 2days ago it would end with :D
But now it's more of D:
As you can see. What. Time. It. Is. Now.
Never stayed up this late before man.
Doing nothing.
Let me explain what happened....
Sunday.
Departing. Feeling hyped and excited.

Then next morning waking up in hk.
Surprisingly it feels the same lol!
Haha I mean like even when I go to genting or just Cameron for holidays, the next morning u wake up, it feels different.
But this time. It still feels like KL lol. Haha I know you must be thinking what do I expect right... Haha
Dimsum breakfast nice but exp shit.
MTR is like super fast!
Everything moves so fast here.
People, cars, mtr, and elevators too. Geez. What are they rushing man...

Went ocean park yesterday. Cheh. It's something like our sunway lagoon nia lar.
Only bigger and. Yeah.

Oh and shopping! It's true... That hk really is a shopping paradise.

And today. Haih. Arrived at hku.
Far from what I expect.
University courses are good. Programmes and stuff. But no way I'm studying here.
See. I can't even sleep tonight.
Hostel is crappy.
People in charge are friendly.
Participants are too. But many are shy. Esp guys lolol.
That's it for now.
PS: no cute/hot guys.
**************************************************************
ok. not alot pics lar. more in camera. very very lazy to upload xD
sorry lar peeps. xD

That's it.

2011-06-02T16:17:00.004+08:00

Disappointment IS the worst feeling ever.

Thought I could finish studying my chem and could pass my term exam.
But guess I can't.
Overestimated myself and underestimated the number of topics which are in for this exam.
Well, actually din know how many chapters were in until this week.
Can't say my tr is 100% at fault,
but at least 60%.
But which means, I held quite a big part of responsibility too.
(Well, duh. I'M the one studying..)
I wasn't keen enough.
I didn't go ask the other teacher to teach me.
I didn't go tell Dr Suseela about how our chem class suck.
I didn't study hard enough.
I didn't do anything until it's too late.
I really regret it now.
But all is done.
It's over.

Couldn't cover the last topic - organic chemistry.
I really really feel like crying...
All those effort, hard work, patience, hope,
all thrown away.
All of it means nothing now.
Who says the process means most?
Everyone just look at the results.Human nature.

Neverland.

2011-05-28T11:50:00.003+08:00

Disney movies just never dies.
Never gets old.
Just like Peter Pan. (:

But yeah. Back to reality.
Gonna study today.
It only struck me yesterday that I only have one more week left to study...
and there's tons of work to do!
Haven even gotten the past year papers...
And CHEM! Is a huge mess right now..
Further maths just couldnt get time to do more practice...
:/ Where is neverland when I needed it?

All you need is alittle faith, trust and pixie dust.

A cold shower after a long dreadful hot day is heaven.

2011-05-23T20:40:00.005+08:00

Ah...
I quite like the rain...
Soothing.
But no thunder please.
Scares me all the time...

Laughing is EXHAUSTING!
Been watching Downtown batsu games these few days..
Omg... I think I've just got a six packs... in one xD
Haha... ok. Not very funny after all.... *silence*

Ok. Maths' statistics part was sorted out.
Further maths with more practice should be okay.
Physics the notes are up to date and colourful, so yeah, should be okay too.
Chem.
Same old. Same old...

Must chill.
Dunno why in such shit mood now...
Switching off now!

How nice if...

2011-05-20T23:19:00.004+08:00

Do you sometimes wanna talk to someone,
but because either you have not talked to them in a long while,
or you rarely talk to them,
it's awkward to start a conversation?
Haih.Strange human communication...
Animals simpler (:

Life still in a mess..
No energy to clean it up...
Just like my closet and drawers and cabinets i've promised to clean up since god knows when....
Aiyo...
I need food...
Dancing in the moonlight...

No wonder looks matter.

2011-05-18T20:33:00.004+08:00

Yar, cause not only other people will judge you by that,
But it affects your confidence level too.*nods deeply...

Haha so got a haircut FINALLY!!!

HAHA
The first thing my hairstylist said to me was,"What happened to your fringe?"
And his expression was like he was looking at... erm...
like there's seaweed on my hair.
Yup.
Most appropriate description I could think of.
(Bare with my poor vocab...)

Not gonna let anything ruin my perfect mood right now...Including tomorrow's double tests...
Which I haven't studied at all...
And the hong kong thing...
Omg.
My life IS in a HUGE MESS...

Ok. That's it for now first.
Need to go clean up my life sikit..Soon...::

I know what I want adi haha

2011-05-12T09:25:00.000+08:00

TILT TO LIVE HEAVY VERSION! 8DBut ah yeah...
$2.99, and most of all requires a credit card.
Which my mom would definitely not gonna let me buy it...
So yeah.

Anyways,
Haha noticed I'm blogging at this kinda time?
Cause college starts at 1pm today! haha
Further maths syllabus finished for this semester so no classes lor 8D

Dancing~

I've been saying I need a haircut since when?!

2011-05-08T09:38:00.004+08:00

Since March!
And it's MAY now!
And look at me! (nope, I'm not gonna upload a picture of me looking like shit)
Still haystack!
I am really giving up on myself huh...
But before the trip,must must get a makeover haha!

*sways*
Supposed to be getting up early to study chem...
But er..yar.Feeling lazy.And no food in the stomach yet!
So chilling for a while (:

Silence is the best weapon.

It's weekend but its so quiet on facebook and msn...
Wonder where is everyone...
Since I nothing to do also,
let's make an impossibly-long-of-whether-realistic-or-not I-want-list. :D
.......
.....
Ok maybe not.
(I just realized I don't want a lot of things after all...)
In fact, I dunno what I want anymore...
Ok. Let's just stop here before I reveal more of how sad and empty my life is right now...

Dreams~

2011-05-07T10:54:00.005+08:00

Cloudy with a chance of meatball is an awesome movie!
It's wer-ifiying... 8D

Haha....
We all need dreams to keep us moving on.
Whether realistic or not.
Because you might not know...
Sometimes, with a bit of good luck, patience, and prayers,
those dreams might just come true...
Sometimes, some words, its so hard to say it out loud.
If only you know.

How funny...

2011-05-06T20:51:00.005+08:00

Life is really the greatest mystery of all.
No one knows how the next minute will be like.Yup.
And guess what?
I GOT CHOSEN TO THE HONG KONG UNIVERSITY TASTERS DAY THINGY!
haha, first let me explain what it is first...
It's a sorta one week students exchange thingy to hong kong uni.
So 2 students from inti subang is chosen to go.
You gotta write letter and apply kinda thing lar,
but I definitely didn't see this coming...
Demi (a classmate) and I got chosen.
Well, supposingly one campus one student got chosen only...
But the other inti campus the student backed out,
so one us of was lucky (:

But anyways...
HONG KONG >:D
All expenses covered...
more or less...
food and accommodation for 4 days,
1.5k hong kong money given to buy airplane tickets
but I think imma stay longer than 4 days to go shopping! :D

Ah... What a day.. (:

Pathetic.

2011-05-04T20:23:00.003+08:00

Ups and downs

I just realized how sad my life had been without you.

I miss you. All of you.

Everyone has got alittle temper.

Just how well they can contain it.

Normally I could put on a fake smile in front of people's faces,

and only release my anger and emotions when you tu

rned around.

But ha, when you're hungry, all hell broke loose.

But yeah, I really can't tahan it anymore.

I don't care what they thinks.

Cause you, aren't the people I cared and loved.

I can cope with loneliness, just not those sympathetic eyes people kept shooting at me.

*cough cough

2011-05-03T18:43:00.003+08:00

After one long weekend,
today college doesn't feel so bad after all haha...
In fact when I stepped in the compound, everything looked so non-familiar...

Time passed really fast this morning,
I didn't even have to keep staring at my watch and hoping that lunch time would arrive faster.
And speak of lunch....
I learnt that communication is a really important thing.Ah yeah....

Erm. Nothing much lar today.
Starting to try to figure out what's going on in further maths.
Oh and surprisingly I passed my physics :D
But abit paiseh to say I cheated alittle....
ah... but promised it wont happen again.
That time was cause clash day with chem ppt,
so I couldn't study it well.....

That's about it lar. :)

That was tiring...

2011-05-01T14:39:00.004+08:00

Let's make it short and simple and as long as we got the point across its enough rite?

Saturday.
Aly is back in Malaysia!
So we decided to go her house visit! >:D
It's also the first time in a very long while,
we have a class gathering...
So it was fun and yeah,
get to see many faces again..
and erm.. yeah.
It was good to see alyssa face to face again...
But... erm you know like when u haven seen someone in a long while then when you finally meet them again they looks different?
But I didn't think she looked different..
In fact, the idea of that we've graduated and things are not the same anymore hadn't cross my mind...
Yesterday felt like gatherings last time, way back then...
Everyone still look familiar and no very strange uncomfortable silences...

For me lar...
I don't like seeing pictures of myself...
Cause the face in the pictures,
doesn't look like what I'd imagined...
It's ok if you don't get what I mean.

It's amazing wei.
Had been a very very long while since I fall sick.
Besides the uncomfortable feelings,
I actually like it.
Allows myself to be weak and lazy,
take things easy and not think for awhile,
and for at least 2 days,
I can not think of the problems and worries ahead of me AND having a valid reason to do so too, so that I don't have to feel guilty about it...

Don't wish me to get well soon.
Because I don't want to.

(PS: pictures for saturday look HERE and HERE2) [sorry for the laziness lar xD]

I feel like going for a swim since its raining so much lately...

2011-04-28T20:33:00.004+08:00

But ah yeah lar... I can't swim >:D

Chem presentation today.
All those brain juice burned and dark eye circles and screwing physics test is worth it lar....
Luckily they laugh...
But dei, really miss last time presentation at ace and sirius lar D:
So...This week... overall not that bad lar..
Many things to do and many things to look forward to (:

AND OH YA!
WE WALKED TO SUBANG PARADE ON MONDAY FOR LUNCH!
We as in lilian, jen, and me. I can't believe we made it there and came back alive and in one piece,
and in only 3 hours.
HAHAHA
So the idea started when we saw the poster in collge - manhattan fish market student's set lunch for rm10.
So we thought why not?For the fun of it and eh nice food cheap price.
Ha, so that day when we walked,
omg, almost rained...
drizzling adi...
Luckily brought umbrella.
But when we got there,
soaked with sweat lar,
stuffy day it was.
And so hungry that I forgot to take pictures...
So yeah lar no pictures to show haha
Next week I'll try to rmb to xD
他同每个人握手，就是不和我握手。。
他说，给我也不碰你的手。。。

Defeated.

2011-04-24T15:05:00.002+08:00

So fast, all the motivation gone.

Only finished chapter 5.

Way to go.

And I dunno.

So many other things to do.

Phy test coming out... wait i forgot when it's on....

And darn chem presentation.

Teacher your teaching also freaking boring lar,

how you expect us to understand your definition of an 'interesting presentation'?

Plus, this topic is totally boring.

I have no idea what's going on in further maths for a while adi...

Worst mistake ever to take A levels.

PEOPLE OUT THERE, UNLESS YOU WANNA SUICIDE,

DONT EVER TAKE A LEVELS.

Or at least not here at Inti.

I really dunno what to do already. :/

Im so happy that i could do a little dance on the spot now xD!

2011-04-22T20:17:00.006+08:00

Today is so awesome lar haha
Haven laughed so much and get so jumpy in a long while...
haha I feel like dancing! xD

A disco diva must always look her best. Go shopping for an outfit as you'll need it for next month!
PS. I love you...

Determined to study chem adi!

2011-04-17T20:47:00.003+08:00

For the bubble tea every week,
and for the dress after mid year exam!

haha.
Just made a bet with myself.
If I made progress,
like complete 2~3chapters a week,
I can treat myself to a bubble tea at the end of the week :D
AND
If I get 70% for chem in mid year exam,
IMMA get myself that maxi sundress! >:D
SO YEAH. NO MORE PLAY PLAY. NO MORE LEEHOM GUYS.

Went pyramid today.
And woah,
in a complex,
without a watch,
it'll really make you lost track of time...
Walked for 6 hours without realizing!
Summore in heels.
Feel like I left my feet at sunway adi wei...
Got some stationaries...
Including an orange pen I used to despise so much heh..
Nothing much.

Weekends passed to fast aiy.
But its good lar (:
And I wanna start studying fast now (:
It's still not to late to start heh...

Just pray that I don't get demotivated by the lousy college atmosphere all over again...

OH YA!

2011-04-15T19:06:00.003+08:00

I have no idea what I'm ohya-ing about.
Forgot why I on the comp for.

SO imma blog.
Bergantung-gantungkan today with chinz kenz liyon suds drew goat and their friend whose name i sorta forgot.
Went to this place called Meeple~
It's a game cafe, only that its not computer games,
its board games.
Not bad eh...
Had one blur game then daph came we started a new game,
which name i forgot again.
Basically one person be the judge,
pick a card and lets say it says : things to cloak the toilet.
you'll have to take turns answering.
Got half a second time limit?
Yeah I lost 5 times.
Tongue tied lar.

Then bubble tea again wei...
I feel like a bubble already.
Had the same one - double choc.
Which I then regretted cos i wanna try some others...
Oh well.

Then ke sirius.
Then home.
Then here sitting in front of comp.
Forgot what I'm supposed to do.
Yeahhh.

OH YA!
Not the one I'm supposed to remember but,
here's some awesome stuff >:D
All by this awesome dude on deviantart called BenHein.
Dunno who's he, but awesome ideas ;D

Have a great weekend peeps! :DD

命运作弄啊。。

2011-04-14T18:36:00.004+08:00

You know, if I had the opportunity to be trained since young,
IN ARTS,
I wouldn't be in A Levels at suckish Inti right now.
But, yeah lar, its fate.

Cause,when I was six,
there's a inter-kindergarden colouring contest thingy,
and I was in,

and halfway colouring on stage,
I looked down at the crowd,

DEI, my mom's gone!

So I cried and I couldn't finish the artwork and yeah I lost.

lol.

And there goes my future in arts.
Not exactly, but yeah.
Indirectly.
And my mom didn't think of letting me learn drawing...
So until I went to chkl only I discover my love for arts heh.

So... Had some boring classes today...
Made some somesome on my table heh...

heh a tart friend's idea of new ipod lol...

By me >:D

So tempted to carry home the table....

你不明白。。。

2011-04-11T15:07:00.005+08:00

人说，人生能得一知己，死而后已。
果真没错；
最悲惨无奈的是，有苦无人能诉。

最近我无法呼吸，连自己的影子，我都想逃避。。
但世界之大却没有一个属于我自己的角落。
逃避已久的问题现一一压得我无法透气。。
哈哈，我看会一夜变白发魔女也不是不可能的事咧。。

想找回过去那画画的兴致。。
但已无影无踪，
颜料也干了，
毛笔也脱毛了。。。
回去谈何容易。。

我真的很容易受影响耶。。。
突然变得这么文绉绉的，

连我自己也打了一下冷颤。

发现我还蛮喜欢华语的。。
要不是当年得罪了初二的华文老师，
我现在应该是立志要当诗人吧哈哈。。
hmm 还是不要好了，诗人多愁善感，早死的很。。。

讲了那么多废话，有看的人，且看得明的人，
哈哈，对不住了。。。
还是那一句话，
别问我好吗？多谢了。
(translation: please don't ask ok? thank you)

Looks can be deceiving.

2011-04-10T08:16:00.005+08:00

Been a while huh,
since I've upload any Jean Francois deviantion...

有人问，眼睛、嘴巴、还是耳朵，
三选一，你会要哪个？
自始至终，我的答案都是眼睛。
人说眼睛是心灵之窗，
而我一直认为最能相信的就是自己的眼睛看到的东西。。。
可是，现在我不是那么的确定了。。
我并非你们看到的那么乖巧，
那么聪明，
那么安静，
那么温柔。。。
那一切，只是一个个的面具。。。
躲在面具后已久的那张脸已疲累了，
不想再逃了，
但却无法面对现实。。
我好想尽情地跑，
去哪儿我不知道但也无所谓；
我好想要一个一个人的旅行，
四处去看看，
透透气，改变一下我这窄小的视线。。。

那一幕让我念念不忘。。
到底是为什么呢？

Geez, I'm proud of myself...
My mandarin not bad heh...
Haha, still can call myself an ex-chkl student hehe...

Hmm... At this rate, I'll never grow up...
I thought I live in the past only,
but wow, now I realize I even live in dreams and fairy tales...
I'm really pathetic heh.
Please, my dear friends,
the best you can do for me is don't ask.
Don't ask how I am anymore,
because I really dunno how to answer you.

Happy 300th.

2011-04-09T19:46:00.006+08:00

ince its the 300th post.
I shall not be emo (:

Father daughter relationship is so sweet...(:

Happy birthday to you my blog, and to myself.

299th.

2011-04-08T14:30:00.007+08:00

I feel so trapped again...Stop lying to myself.
Stop creating lies for myself.
Something is wrong with me.
I know it.
Just couldnt admit so.
Finally got hold of some movies I wanted!
Black swan, meatball show! , rapunzel!
Thanks jen!
At least got something to do this weekend.

Hate it most when people try to act know-it-all.

Ace may be awesome, carefree, fun, random....
But the real world isn't.
It's so hard to fit in the world outside,
now that we're outta school.
Have to face all those shit once again.
And there's nothing you can do to change it. ):
But its always been like that.
For thousands and millions of years.
Some things, will never change, can never change.

And hey chinz,
suddenly thought of why the dinosaurs extinct.
It wasn't meteor shower you know...
It's cause mighty patty falls from the sky...
Cloudy have to install some program in that food machine in the sky lar,
so that it doesn't generate mighty patty and kill us all.
(ps: purple font for you ;))

Even facebook fails me...

2011-04-02T17:13:00.005+08:00

So... I was trying to upload some photos from my phone to facebook,
but aiyo... dunno why can't!
So ya lah meiyi, your tart photo at ninja joe is still with me haha...

So, woke up at 4am today!
Power wei...
Cos we went lumut lar...
We as in my parents and me and my aunt.
Without my brother...
And last night also wei,
went chili's with my parents ONLY.
First time feeling how its like to be a single child...
Great having full attention,
but yeah lar, bored without that tart around... :/
Anyways today,
went lumut cos my dad backache,
and there's a really good massage sifu there,
and no joke wei,
3 minutes and all the pain gone. o.o
And he can stand straight, bend down, dance around... ah he didn't do the last one lar haha...
Then then, we went ipoh!
Which is 1 hour away from there...
Ipoh = good food.
Had 2 plates of large char kuey tiao.
And yeah lar, was gonna upload the pics but aiyo dunno whats wrong with the phone...
And yeah, don't care if I'm getting fat,
and don't care if I dont eat like a lady... pfft.

Now, home and bored and nothing to do and no one to talk to.
Need a makeover desperate! :D
Women dress well to make themselves happy, not for men,
cause if it's for men, they would be going around naked...
PS: just testing out the colour function....
And it worked! 8D

today is a good day ;D

No one deserves loneliness.

2011-04-01T14:03:00.006+08:00

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters a table leg breaks or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart when that breaks it s completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world or even have some ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it is silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. If there is a noise it is internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like a trashing panicking trapped great big beast roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that's the thing about love, no one is untouchable.
— Cecelia Ahern (If You Could See Me Now)

Running away isn't a bad idea after all,
Sometimes if u can't solve the problem,
leave it and go for a short walk,
do a little shopping heh I got myself a new pair of earrings...
And it wouldn't hurt so much anymore,
It didn't matter whether I solve it or not now. :)
Home is one place that I feel safe and wanted.
The only one.

I shall get myself... more ice cream!

2011-03-31T19:49:00.004+08:00

Ah. The reason why I din wanna promote this blog much,
its because I wanna keep it as a place I can say anything,
a place I can be myself,
safe haven.

Ice cream cures depression thats why.
I'm sick of hiding behind a plastered smile.
I'm unhappy.
I don't like college,
I don't like my class,
I don't like those people there. (other than you lilian seriously)
Sorry to say this but,
they're so lame. (In a bad way duh)
And they're such losers.
(except you too lilian, seriously, you've been such a great friend and on the other side, I've been a lousy one... haih... I know you're not gonna find your way here anyway, but still, to be safe haha)
And the worst part is,
I hate that as time goes on,
I feel like one of those losers too...

I feel so lazy lately...
I'm lazy to dress up nice,
lazy to look nice,
and I'm already not trying to adi,
I feel so unattractive.
I feel like crying.

BUT, I do not need and do not WANT your pity.
Stop giving me sympathetic stares,
I may be lonely and no life but I'm not pathetic.
I'm not like them.
I'm not....

Once the damage is done, the pain is something you'll remember forever...

**********************************************************************
I need a haircut.
And some shopping.

Lets get a nice dress,
and go to a glam restaurant,
and have nice evening.
Gotta feel alive again.

Ice cream made my day (:

2011-03-30T21:21:00.003+08:00

He's cute aint it ;)ahh colourful ice creams 8D
Amazing how food can change one's mood so easily...
And colours 8D
I'm indeed a visual and 6 person...

Being near gorgeous people makes me feels inferior...
And feel that myself is so.. unattractive.
" Everyone needs to be told they're beautiful from time to time;
its good for the soul" - Peter from 'I remember you'
Don't really like that guy but oh well,
that line was really nice...
But anyway,
everyone is gifted in a different way,
in some way.
I'm grateful of what I have.

Keep saying I wanna study but
aiyo chem is a pain in the ass..
Left out too far behind,
and it's so hard to start now...
Group study?

Looking forward to have something to look forward to (:

Imma get on a hot air balloon house and get outta this shithole.

2011-03-28T20:16:00.002+08:00

This is so beautiful.
Better than cruise.
I wanna travel the world on that thing.
And get outta this shithole.

I guess turning old ain't that bad,
makes you think a little more before emotions take place.
Left brain more active eh.
Suddenly I can forgive those horrible things they did,
suddenly I can forget it and let it go and continue doing maths.
2 years ago if I see this me, I would have thought I've gone mad.

When your hungry,
after having a shit day,
and you have to wait so long,
and yet you can't have what you wanna eat,
you just feel like bombing the whole world.
Yeah. Hunger can cause war.

One of the biggest headache at college is...
what to have for lunch today...
I hate having to ask that everyday,
and the people around me are always 'anything lar'
Ah,
one more,
what to wear also a headache.
College people wear so... decent.
skirts, blouse, dress even OO

Really need a haircut.
And a dress.
And a life.

Things never change. You and I changed.

2011-03-26T18:01:00.003+08:00

I was gonna blog lar yesterday,
but ah so tired.
Too long no skating,
I FORGOT how to already haha
So..
I skate like a first timer again...

So yesterday after class which ends at 1,
went pyramid to 'gantung keluar' with rs-ers.
Gantung keluar, hang out, geddit?? haha
daph you tart lar. xD

So chinz was already in the rink since 10... power sikit.I skate so cacatly,
and ah yeah lar, later the poh face came,
laugh laughs.
haha aiy
therefore,
I MUST LEARN TO SKATE LIKE A PRO!
Imma learn skating before driving,
driving not so important lar...

Then met the guys outside.Btw, yesterday,
people who were there: chinz, poh face, kenzhi, manboobs, john, nic, whore, brens, koala, goat, jenn, suds, thats all?
So the guys bergay-gayian as usual.
(dei daph your language is addictive...)
Then we went arcade,
and ehhh
chinz and I beat suds in racing wei...
proud sikit haha
Then dinner at carl juniors,
and reminiscing about good old times...It's up to you how you see things

Lost at sea..

2011-03-22T21:15:00.006+08:00

Feel like that,
only its not as colourful for me.

This morning,
traffic jam,
traffic lights out,
the cars rather all stuck at the middle of the road,
than letting each other cross.
This is malaysia.
Rather all die together than letting people pass first.
Then, mom dulan me.
The walking in college,
raining slippery so fell,
and no one bothered to help,
until like 15 sec later a girl saw i couldn't get up by myself only came over and ask.
And the other girls just look and continue talking.
What happen to these people?
Are they robots or what?
No heart at all...
Disappointment.

Crying feels as good as laughing.
*******************************************************************
Everything has an exception.
Meeting RS is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

This is fast.

2011-03-17T17:29:00.004+08:00

Almost 300 posts adi :D

This is the 291th.

Met the pohhop at pyramid today 8D

She's still round haha

and still acting like a pohhop haha

But hey, someone's 18 adi wei,

can't believe wei,

haha xD

Meiyi, now can go around and tell people youre an adult proudly adi.

Since its your birthday, you look 18 lar today :D

Finally printing chem syllabus and prepare to start studying...

It couldnt be so bad rite...

I like it colourful. (:

Bubbles and water drop is in now ;)

Tata :D

I'm number 6.

2011-03-16T22:26:00.002+08:00

Well,
according to numerology lar hahaBut eh she's hot ;)

Watched I'm number four just now in summit,
and woah the ticket price is way way cheaper than in sunway.
2 tickets is only 12 here.
Cool movie.
Cute guys. ;)I believe in miracles.
In supernatural and the unexplainable.
And sometimes, not all questions need an answer;
Mysteries are most beautiful when they're remained as an unknown.

The answer is just right there.

2011-03-15T16:25:00.002+08:00

Er, geez, I forgot what I wanted to say again...
OH YA!
Dreams.
Saw a documentary about lucid dreaming,
and so I google further about it and I wanna try.

Until,
I found out more.
Some says that its not good practice,
and that when u dream,
your soul is out of your body,
so if u do that often,
it makes ur body vulnerable to 'things.
Geez, mysteries can be freaky too.
Thats why they're so interesting.

Oh,
games can really make one go crazy.
My bro installed a new game called 'tilt to live' on my phone,
and when you start playing it,
all you could think of is the game.
When I close my eyes,
its all reed dots and explosions and an arrow.
And because of this game,
I swore so many times.
More than all the times added together in the past.
Fuish. Power of mini games.

Fear,
is one powerful emotion.

突然发现我的华文变得好烂耶。。。
好久没打或写华文字了，很不习惯啊。
看了饭的部落格才发现，
时间过得真快，
我还以为初一的事情仿佛就像去年才发生的。。
真的很怀念中华的日子，
哈哈，可能这就是人说的失去了才会珍惜吧。。。

Hmm...I've changed so much.
So that I'm not even sure of myself anymore.

One of those days...

2011-03-12T18:17:00.005+08:00

Which you feel like lying on grass and stare at the sky all day,
making out the shapes of clouds,
and yeah, just eat air. haha
So, let us lie on grass and watch :)

Everytime I tried to plan my holidays,

it never worked.

I'll just end up staying home,

in big Ts and shorts,

curling on the sofa,

with the laptop,

earphones playing old songs,

and wandering aimlessly on the net.

Searching for pretty pictures,

reply facebook messages,

waiting for friends to come on msn,

until I really have nothing to do,

just set the music on replay and let the mind drift.

Someday is a dangerous word;

because its the code for never...

What's behhuien's favourite song?

2011-03-10T21:34:00.002+08:00

beh song.
haha

Suds came over for lunch today :D
Quite some time since so many of us eat together...
Chinz, liv, ken, chris, liyon, eg, suds.
Too bad daph and tzelik cant come too.
Wonder when will it be the next time all rs meet again?

This evening when my mom came to fetch me home, in the car,
she suddenly ask me:
"hey you know you can treat me like a friend... so tell me, have you liked any guys before?"
I was like... the heck?!
haha
scary wei...
Then hor... when we got home, I sorta talk abit loud to my bro lar..
she said "eh talk softer lar, 酱粗鲁，等下嫁不出去啊。。。"
wokay... mom, sometimes you really scare me..
But who cares man, jia bu cu qu jia bu cu qu larrr
haha

When I'm bored I eat.
When I'm hungry,
I wish that humans don't have to eat.
Yes, we're one weird bunch,
and we're proud so :D

tuning in: Rhythm of love - plain white Ts

Gotta admit it.

2011-03-09T20:35:00.002+08:00

I feel so pathetic.
3 months in college and I made... one friend.
That's it.
And one frassmate.
The rest classmates,
and most don't even notice my presence.
I suck.
Maybe I'm anti-social;
maybe I'm weird...
I wanna cry..

I hate it that my mom's always right about things...
It's like moms have psychic ability or something...

I don't understand,
why people like to hide something from somebody and say it's for their own good?
So that they don't get hurt?
Come on lar,
it'll hurt 10 times more knowing the truth later.
I rather hurt once and get over it fast,
then to live in lies.

Ok. Nicholas Sparks books ain't that nice lar....
Too draggy descriptions,
and story line is too brief,
the feelings and emotions is just on the surface.
Ish.

It's harder and harder to blog...
Start to run out of things to write...
Guess I'll be off for a while. (:

The thing about love is, nobody is untouched.

I'm just being jealous lol...

2011-03-06T19:50:00.002+08:00

My own screen captures and editing eh ;)
Feel so proud hahaha lol
Ok thats how no life I am haha...
But that scene broke my heart too....

Good weekend this is. :)
Haha but as usual, no work done hehe..
Gonna drop chem, then it'll be easier.
Study by myself, I find more useful.
Geez, am I anti-social?
Werrr....

One more week and it's holidays!
Can't wait!
I wanna:
play the piano,
read a book,
go for a picnic 8D,
go buy a dress... maybe not, save money sikit,
go jogging.. fatsss...,
online and stare at the comp as usual...
blog maybe?
watch some movies, at home haha, no money go out adi lar...

Life is good, when you think so :)

Secret.

2011-03-04T21:55:00.003+08:00

Nerds are cool eh, sometimes ;)

Old songs are awesome.
Cartoons are awesome...
Colorful things makes me go werr..
Songs make me dance cry laugh sing-along-like-some-mad-woman haha
Movies got me thinking and dreaming...
Books make me dream too...
But recently lost the love for reading..
maybe because no time...
or that I realize the false hope they give is not good for me....

I believe in fate.
Though they say your fate is in your hands,
but not 100%,
only 70%.

(:

If only if only...

2011-02-26T16:16:00.003+08:00

I remember when the first time I'd read 'a place called here'
All I felt was there's no place like home,
And haha I joked about the idea of going to 'Here' to collect back all my lost stuff..
But now, when I read it for the second time,
I could somehow relate myself with Sandy.
And all those metaphoric phrases kept spinning in my head,
They buzz like a bee in the morning making me unable to concentrate in anything,
And like a sad old melody, it kept chanting in my ears, sending me to dreams in tears..
Only then, it starts making me think alittle harder, search alittle more detailed,
Of what's lost in me.

But really, haha, Cecelia Ahern writes the very thing that you feel and yet unable to express to anyone,
sometimes not even to yourself.
It's not always romance,
but many are the greatest lessons in life.
Haha she must be psychic wei hehe.

Weekends make you feel so lazy eh..
Though I have time, I don't wanna do my homework,
I don't wanna do revision.
Just for this weekend alright.
In fact, I don't even wanna go on Facebook or msn,
I wanna disappear for a few days,
Spend some time thinking in silence, alone.

I can only assume that there's only one thing more frustrating than not being able to find someone, and that's not being found.... I would want someone to find me, more than anything...

Sourish.

2011-02-24T19:05:00.003+08:00

This idea of searching for lost things is a distraction, is a way of avoiding dealing with something else that's lost in your life within you. Now shall we start searching for what that is?

No matter how hard I try to forget, what's done is done, things can never be the same,
the hole will always be there,
until I found what's lost within me...

College had been better...
Because haha, after so long only I had accepted and believe the fact that we'd graduated and it's time to move on.
But in silence, I still feel as lonely and empty as ever...

Sometimes, when your reading a book, you mind is reading the words aloud inside,
but nothing goes in, your just hearing words that has no meanings..
I dunno what I was thinking too, just couldn't focus...
First step of psychic training: absolute peace in mind.
And then only you can have 100% concentration.
Haha guess I just failed the first most basic quiteria.

No matter how much I do or how well I did, you just don't care, donut means nothing to me too...
Time to live my ownlife, live for myself :)
Failing Chem tomorrow, yay.

Haha one day I'll be reading back this blog and laugh at how childish I was

Stop asking if I'm fine,
Because I'm not,
I feel horrible and I wanna cry and not care bout tomorrow...
But i can't do so. Life sucks.
Sometimes silence is the best medicine.

Time to say goodbye.

2011-02-20T19:06:00.003+08:00

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters a table leg breaks or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart when that breaks it s completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world or even have some ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it is silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. If there is a noise it is internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like a trashing panicking trapped great big beast roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that's the thing about love, no one is untouchable.
— Cecelia Ahern (If You Could See Me Now)

For the first time after so long,
I feel so relieve,
I feel like I could run for miles even though I don't know where I'm going,
I feel like I could just lie in bed and think nothing but just listening to my breathing.
Freedom. Peace. It feels so great.

It's been a while,
and now it's time to let it go
and fly...

Your my worst mistake ever.

2011-02-17T23:04:00.001+08:00

No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love
I loved the most

I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live, half-alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises

And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

But this will be the end. And no more.

The day after valentines...

2011-02-16T15:35:00.002+08:00

It's my birthday, it's actually very easy to remember... But somehow alot ppl always forgets my birthday haha
So haven have a good birthday since dunno when
But yesterday was awesome lar
Felt so grateful and lucky. :)

Recently I don't feel like writing what I'd done anymore...
Laziness plus, those good memories are kept safe up here *the brains the brains

So that's it. Oh and slept so late last night replying to fb wishes therefore slept in class a few times today haha
Just like old times lar :)

It's valentines tml...

2011-02-13T21:59:00.002+08:00

Imma skip LAN and sleep in library,
hoping to bump into GBs.
Oh wells.
Like I care about valentines,
seriously, not sour talk.

Weekend's gone,
and still did no revision and homework..
Busy week...
Cny's still not over apparently,
still gt so many lunches and dinners..

But then,
afterwards went to huixuan's open house,
dei, really appreciate much for the surprise,
haha evn though it's a last minute thing.
Thanks xuan, suds and huiman xD

It'll just be the same...

Should have known...

2011-02-11T18:46:00.002+08:00

That it was only just a dream.
And now that I'm awake,
its all left behind.

A levels sibeh hard...
I thought its like,
we took O levels,
and this is A levels,
so should be somehow linked right?
And it should be easy for us to cope right?
But no!
In fact, its easier for the Spm-ers!
Cause they studied alot more stuff...
Haih...
I just couldn't focus in class lar...
And ya!
The tables are so small!
And the chairs are so uncomfortable!
And no drawers to put books!
Dang, so tables all messy and so many things,
make me feel so claustrophobic...
Yeah, that's why I can't pay attention in class...

It's finally weekends...
Time to catch up with homework and take some time off for piano..

Time to settle in.

2011-02-07T22:36:00.002+08:00

Been whining and complaining so much about college for the past few weeks...
But now, this finally cross my mind:
"nothing you can do now to change that,
other than be happy and learn to adapt"
So yeah.
Im going classes and starts REALLY listening adi.
Time to buckle up eh.

Have the initiative lar.
For this week not gonna skip anything.
Dunno why am I doing this to torture myself wei..
But, okay, only for this week.

Okay lar...
Really nothing to blog about adi.
Nites.

Purple

2011-02-05T23:25:00.002+08:00

Eh actually I quite like purple leh...
(Cause it looks abit like pink :D)

Anyways,
Cny is... tiring.
Going out, sleep late, wake up early.
And eat.
Fatssss. Gah.

And ya,
Alyssa's back for cny,
so met up sikit today at pyramid,
but I couldn't make it,
so joined them for dinner at taipan.
Glad to see her again. (:
But for now,
I'm too tired and hungry to go into details.
So... ya lah..

Like that only lar.
Haha, post getting shorter and shorter wei.
Er.. no offence daph and meir. xD
Haha xian nian kuai le, wish you two can grow taller lar :D
Ciao!

Music :)

2011-02-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

Addicted to Ghibli's music again...
Howl's moving castle's theme song is my fav now..
Adn speaking of ghibli,
daphne poh, i think you haven return me those disc i lent u...

Nothing better to do lately,
so rewatch these movies again..
ah, nostalgic...
Good old times.
Back when we're so young and naive.
Feeling old dei...

It's cny in 2 days,
gosh I don't even realize it until this morning...
What happen to festives spirits?
Realize as we grew up,
festives, birthdays, celebrations,
seemed to be less important,
and soon forgotten...
I sometimes, wish i can be a child forever...

Japanese songs are so romantic :)

Lost in thoughts...

2011-01-30T23:05:00.002+08:00

Actually love doing that...
Not actually thinking but your mind ain't in reality anymore...
Just wondering, roaming freely...
Feels like floating on clouds..

Today, it rained a whole day...
Cold and gloomy,
makes people feel like crying,
for no reason,
but just wanna let it all out...

I just feel like slapping myself looking at you.
Why can't you just bloody read my mind?
PS: daphne, this is no guy ok, please don't bombard me with mmmmhhhmmm anymore

Kurt Schneider is freaking cute and talented! haha
Aih, can't help lar, life sucks,
no life actually, nothing to do, so stalk ppl lor...

Note-to-self: please finish the book "a place called here" and please practice your piano...

Now I understand what they mean by being sardins in the public transport...

2011-01-29T22:36:00.002+08:00

The KTM was scary...
Squeeze like some salmon,
and so unstable...

So... Got my o levels results today..
Quite happy with it.
So yeah.
I actually am happier to be with rs ppl than to get good grades...
I mean can good grades make you laugh and have lunch with you? ;)

But LRT is like werrrr! 8D

You're indeed special :)

2011-01-25T22:19:00.003+08:00

Out of all Cecelia Ahern's books,
'If you could see me now' was by far my favorite. :)
One reason is that it is really easy to move along, and the story is really touching, can make you laugh yet make you cry...
Another is, Ivan is my favorite male character among all others.
He's fun, sensitive, caring, deep, mysterious, true.

Alex from 'where rainbow ends' is too undecided,
Justin from 'thanks for the memories' too,
Gregory from 'a place called here' is nice but not interesting,
Gerry from 'ps I love you' is extremely sweet, but too bad he died young,
The guy whose name I forgot from 'the gift' is not attractive at all, obviously, as I can't even remember his name...
Haven read 'the book of tomorrow' so dunno bout that...

The only thing about Ivan is that he's not real...
And that is also what makes the book so beautifully sad...
Because it somehow reflects such perfect being doesn't exist in the real world.
I wonder where are you?

What talking you....

2011-01-24T21:08:00.002+08:00

Dunno since when we talk like this....

Seriously I dunno what talking you...
Guys, pffft. Dunno what's in their mind,
And who said girls are complicated?

I don't have the patience and hearts to be broken anymore...
Had enough of guessing, waiting, being stupid and heartbroke.
There's nothing wrong being single, why can't people understand that?

Horrible new timetable...
Wanna request for a change but scared kena marah,
I mean head of department looks quite scary larrr...

Tuning to: I'll never break your heart - backstreet boys. <3
Oldies are awesome. :)

Lagoon~

2011-01-23T19:45:00.002+08:00

Yes,
first time been there all 17 years of my life...

Always after a long and eventful day,
the blog post regarding it will be shorter than of a short boring day.
Too tired and too many things to write...
Therefore lost the mood to write,
and thus, extract sikit..

Lagoon was not as fun as I'd imagined...
I would say,
I won't like lagoon itself,
but going with the RS people,
it sure is fun! :D

Notes-to-self:
1. Never wear jeans shorts to water parks...(feeling so stupid now...so please dont bring it up again...)
2. Chlorine effect on hair is wow...
3. Chill, a little water won't kill.

I'd rather stay on the spot and not moving forward,
because I'm afraid to lose what I have now.

What do I want actually?

2011-01-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

Some people, when they have everything they want,
and even things that they don't really need or want,
they'll come to a point that they don't know what to do with their lives,
cause they don't know what they want anymore...
But I'm not rich and I don't have everything...
Yet, I feel as empty...
What's missing?

I knew I shouldn't get involved.
It'll all repeat itself again.
"Step out of it before you fall too deep..."
Maybe it's too late;
maybe I'm just too tired to care...
Finding truth is like searching for a straw in a sack of needles;
Impossible and so hurtful.

Good way to pass free time no1: write a list of fun things to do during free time...

Whats wrong har...

2011-01-20T22:08:00.002+08:00

Dunno why,
today I'm really pissed off...

Went pyramid,
the crowd is like water literally...
maybe that's why I was in such bad mood...
And eh!
pyramid people damn no manners lor...
== ruin my holiday...

Maybe due to lack of sleep too...
Head feeling heavy.
But I slept for so long last night!
But had a real long and weird dream...
You wouldn't believe it,
it's like the inception movie...

First I was at Giant,
like any dreams,
you dunno how you end up there and what you're doing...
I only remembered I was walking around with my parents and then into the car park...
Then I woke up, but not in reality yet...
Then I couldn't remember what happened here...
Then finally I woke up, in real life,
feeling tired than before...
Wow.

Ok. Tomorrow got class again...*sigh

Deiiiii

2011-01-19T18:18:00.002+08:00

Haha,
today's actually the best day I have at college :D
Because,
The SAM people finally starts!
(but they flood the traffic and asia cafe larrr)
So hang out sikit! ;)

So... Met chinz at mcD.
Then the chipmunk came.
Talk sikit about school~
Laugh and jakunn abit (actually alot)
Then walk to dunno where...
Then walk back to Taylors.
Saw the goat in front of Inti.
So go inside Inti see see instead. (though there's nothing and no cute guys to see... xD)

Try to be semangat sikit,
don't use the lift but climb the stairs...
But died at fourth floor. xD
Rest sikit on the sofa there...
Jakunn alot, laugh alot xD
Then I said I saw the GB at 8th floor,
Chinz gained back all the energy to go up again xD
Dying when we're there...
(Some more I was thinking of joining the outdoor club....)
But saw no GB.. D:
Continue with the jakunn-ness. Aiyo, jakunn seemed like the only word to describe us. xD
Then the goat's mom come adi so gtgn.

Haha, in the car...
Chinz and I, laughed at anything and everything xD
Until the mom ask eejie, whats wrong with his friends arh... xD
All image gone lar xD

Note to self: ask eejie what's the passenger button for...

Aiyo....

2011-01-16T22:50:00.003+08:00

More whines....
not wine! haha

Aiyo...
Dunno whether its just me,
or college is just horrible.
Back to those days that waking up in the morning is just impossible,
and while in school,
waiting desperately for the time to go home,
and count my time while in each class...
I feel so... hopeless? sad? empty?
Recently is like everyone just went separate ways... :(
Hope this Sat's lagoon trip will bring things back...

Like daphne's fb status: Dear tomorrow, please be nice.
Well, I won't ask for too much,
I just hope dear tomorrow, please don't be nasty on me :)

Woahhh 8D

2011-01-15T18:34:00.002+08:00

Ok. I'm not boasting..
My first time blogging on phone eh! :D

Haha finally gotten my iPhone ;)
It's a 3GS though...
And second hand...
So don't boo me yet :p

Ok. That's all I'm gonna type...
Still prefer surfing the net with comp...
Fat fingers hard to type lol...